Woody Allen & Sina Khani - dying for a joke

Sina Khani was struggling to make his 'Creeps from the Middle East' stay alive or (in Sina's own words with a German accent) 'not to commit suicide before reaching a proper audience.'

 He was the perfect actor for Woody, who was looking for someone to play an Iranian slapstick villain in his newest upcoming film. 

"What's the secret to your succes," asked Sina while sitting on the toilet in one of his imaginary interviews with Woody. 

"Of couse he's not going to reply. Woody is to famous for me. To him I seem like some crazy Iranian bot." He lighted a cigarette, also imaginary, he doesn't smoke. 

After a quick imaginary inhalation he continued his interview:

"I know I don't exist for you, but can you please pretend like I do? This is the world of make belief, ok? Here I'm not some crazy creep from the Middle East? Fuck. This thing isn't working."

He sighed and looked at his watch again, as if he had some appointments. He wanted to keep his sanity.....the busier he pretends to be the busier he becomes. He was actually very depressed, but staying in his bed only made him more of a joke. And nobody was laughing. At leest with 'Creaps' he could give his life some meaning......or pretend.....or make somebody laugh. 

"Woody? Woody are you there? Please answer me! Jesus, fucking Christ, even God gives descent answers."

Woody: "I'm here."

Sina almost dropped his imaginary cigarette and looked around.

Sina: "God?'

"Woody Allen is the name. Leave the God out. I make a lousy God. I hate listening to everyone's prayers and demands. It's hard enough being a Jew. No need to get crucified as well."

Sina: "Don't worry. Muslims don't crucify Jews! We just hate them, or at least we pretend......o forget about it I love Jews, I love you!"

Woody: "What do you want? Nobody just 'loves' us.

Sina: "You are definitely right! I need your help!"

Woody: "Sorry I have no time."

Sina: "Aren't you guys supposed to be 'chosen'? 

Woody: "Yes we are."

Sina: "Then help me!"

Woody says"I don't see you drowning" and tries to move on. 

Then Sina jumps towards Woody Allen's feet and says: "No, I am actually drowning. Drowning in self pity. Isn't that pitiful 😭?"

Woody: "That's not really funny".

Sina: I know, that's why I need your help! I am willing to die for a good joke!"

Woody: "Alright, you are pathetic."

Sina: "I told you."

Woody: "what do you need? Most men need two things: sex and money and I'm not going to provide you with that. "

Sina: "I'm not gay, and I don't need money. I need jokes!"

Woody: "We all need money."

Sina: "Ok I need that too, but I need the jokes more."

Woody: "You are really depressed. Only depressed people need jokes."

Sina: "Yes, I'm dying for a joke."